By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
November 25, 2015
On this week’s episode of the DetroitSportsRag Podcast Moss and Spiro discussed the Lions pathetic hiring of Rod Wood and discuss the 97.1/Lions/WJR saga with former WDFN and WXYT-AM program director Gregg Henson and Mike Valenti’s current agent Mort Meisner.
Yes, the man who represents Valenti, Terry Foster, Dan Leach, Matt Dery and Jeff Riger agreed to come on the DSR Podcast. Unfortunately, I was on my best behavior.
By “Richie Tenenbaum”
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
November 25, 2015
January 21, 2008. That was the day the general public received confirmation that Tom Cruise was crazy. Sure, his antics with Oprah and her couch a few years earlier, as well as his contentious interview with Matt Lauer, had put people on notice that something probably wasn’t right with him. But we didn’t know for sure until January 21st, when a 9-minute video of Cruise talking about Scientology leaked onto the internet.
Seeing Cruise talk intensely and, at times, manically about Scientology forced people to view him in the harsh light of reality. And the only rational conclusion one could draw after watching the video is that Tom Cruise’s beliefs are not the beliefs of a normal, sane man. He was just TOO out there and hard to relate to. With the release of that video, Tom Cruise stopped being someone the public admired and respected and, instead, became an international laughingstock – a guy who you wouldn’t want to get stuck sitting next to at a dinner party.
November 24, 2015 very well may be the day that Jim Harbaugh and the University of Michigan’s hardcore fan base begin a similar transformation in the eyes of the public.
Because on the night of the 24th, Jim Harbaugh joined a group of 200 Michigan alumni and fans at Forest Hill Cemetery to tour the graves of Fielding Yost, Bo Schembechler and Bob Ufer. During their visit, they sang The Victors at Yost’s grave and Harbaugh decided that Bo’s gravesite was the perfect location to take a hammer to a buckeye.
Unbelievably, these antics were met with adoration from both the mainstream media and fans on social media.
Alejandro Zunia (former writer at the Michigan Daily) tweeted this:
Let it sink in: During the week of The Game, Jim Harbaugh spent his Tuesday night walking through a cemetery to honor Bo, Ufer & Yost. Wow.
— Alejandro Zúñiga (@ByAZuniga) November 25, 2015
Brian Cook of MGoBlog was falling over himself praising Harbaugh for being a part of it because it proved he “gets” Michigan and that he is “of” Michigan.
Please excuse me for a few minutes while I go barf.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of nostalgia. My two favorite channels on SiriusXM are Lithium and Backspin. If VH1 is running a marathon of “I Love the 80’s,” I’m there. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with celebrating past accomplishments. But the obsession Michigan fans have with their past is at an entirely different level. It’s just not normal.
I get the love for Bo, since many fans had a personal connection with him or, at the least, have fond memories of him. But Fielding Yost died in 1946. Anyone who could possibly remember watching him coach is pushing 100 years old. Yet Michigan fans still pop a collective boner whenever anyone mentions his name.
And I would love to ask these people who make the annual pilgrimage to honor the fallen heroes of Michigan football how often they visit the gravesites of their own grandparents or relatives – you know, people they actually KNEW. I’m sure their answers would not shock me.
To be fair, if you take away the prism of sports, there are many aspects of fandom that look ridiculous – wearing a shirt with another man’s name on it, letting a bad loss ruin your week, following a 16-year-old boy on Twitter in hopes that he commits to your favorite school, etc. But this particular strain of fandom is unique to Michigan.
The Michigan fans who participate in this cemetery walk are mental. They have become so consumed with the “culture of Michigan” and the idea that it makes the school, the football team, and, ultimately, THEMSELVES, special and unique that they’ve lost touch with reality. And make no mistake: all of this pomp and circumstance to “honor the past” is really all about THEM. So they can use it to prove that they are better and more special than other fan bases and even other UM fans.
Slightly disappointed that word did get out because it’s maybe 10% less cool, but I mean… he gets the place. He is of the place.
— mgoblog (@mgoblog) November 25, 2015
This bothers me because, as a Michigan alum, I WANT to root for the Wolverines and to have fun being completely invested in the team. But I can’t because I refuse to be lumped in with such an embarrassing, infuriating and delusional group of fans. In fact, it’s come to the point that I now get more enjoyment out of seeing these fans being miserable than I do seeing Michigan’s teams do well. And I don’t see that changing until the majority of Michigan fans see things like the cemetery walk for what they truly are: desperate and pathetic cries for attention.
(The author goes by the nom de plume of “Richie Tenenbaum” because his vocation doesn’t make it possible for him to post articles on the DSR under his Christian name. Way to go, Baumer!!!!!)
By Jeff Moss, “Richie Tenenbaum & Mihir Bhatnagar
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
November 26, 2015
Ever since longtime Detroit sports talk radio update guy Matt Dery left 97.1 to become a host of his own show on the ratings disaster known as Detroit Sports 105.1, we have had a running bit on Twitter regarding his constant flow of photographs with attractive women.
It seemed to have started when the desperate sports talk station started running a totally hackneyed weekly gimmick during football season where some cute local “celebrity” female would come into the studio to make football selections.
I guess it was either this cliched bit or a weekly “What’s Your Favorite Hamburger Joint in Detroit?” segment and extremely creepy 105.1 producer Tom Mazawey must have figured having women come in to make picks would somehow arouse him. Not that the man who wants to “unwind your kids” for a fee has never ogled a Red Coat Tavern cheeseburger I’d presume.
Anyway, whenever Dery or the personal concierge Mazawey would Tweet out these douchey photos of “The Deez” with one of his special lady friends, I would ReTweet with the tagline of “Poor Heather.”
Heather being Dery’s second wife (pictured above) after he divorced his first bride, Lisa.
I never gave much thought to the “Poor Heather” Tweets until recently when this bizarre behavior became a topic of conversation on the DSR Forums and the sheer volume of these Dery pics was exposed.
Because, here’s the thing …… there is NO WAY any of these women give a shit about getting a picture with MATT DERY. He’s a nobody they’ve never heard of – and they SHOULDN’T know who he is. So either he, or someone on his behalf, is initiating these poses for photos. Which is so fucking pathetic.
I mean, we are talking about an extremely LOWLY rated sports talk show host not Brad Pitt or Benedict Cumberpatch here. This isn’t the Howard Stern show where “broads” like Jillian Barberie are dying for a photo-op on the King of All Media’s sofa.
No. THIS IS MATT DERY, people!!!!
And if you think I am overreacting to the number of these photos Dery has taken with random waitresses, “Ticket Girls” and local Q-List media members, I am about to inundate you with just SOME of the snapshots we found on social media of this slimy behavior.
I mean, what is with that fake, cheesy smile?!?!!??!
Poor Heather.
Matt Dery is the “Marlins Man” of Twin Peaks, The Tilted Kilt and Tito’s Vodka. We’re only missing Dery photographed with a Hooters waitress. Oh wait, I found one ……
Being a diehard fan of the ultra-depressing Showtime program “The Affair” I can only ponder the corollary between Matt, Lisa and Heather Dery and Noah, Helen and Alison Solloway.
The only question remaining is which bartender, 105.1 promotions intern or local weather girl will be playing the role of Eden.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
November 29, 2015
The following was posted by some dude on Twitter this afternoon ….
I am being told by sources close to the Michigan athletic department that this is not accurate. At the very least, people in the U of M athletic department do not believe anything is imminent and are dubious that D.J. Durkin will leave the Wolverines for the Terps’ head gig.
Folks in Ann Arbor believe that Durkin will wait for a more prestigious job than the one Randy Edsall lost.
We shall see, but these sources in A2 have not steered me wrong so far.
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
November 30, 2015
During his weekly radio spot on 92.1FM in Lansing, Moss bashes Mitch Albom, the beat writers who cover the Red Wings, the DJ at Joe Louis Arena and discusses the Lions winning streak, the Tigers signing of Ryan Zimmermann and the pox known as Drew Miller. Among other topics.
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 1, 2015
If the Nationals MISS the playoffs I will shave @jonmorosi‘s name in my head. You can go ahead and favorite this. The guy went to Harvard.
— Jeff Moss (@JeffMossDSR) April 6, 2015
Yes. We know the barber spelled “Morosi” wrong. He’s more of a Buster Olney guy.
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 2, 2015
On this week’s DSR Radio from the Podcast Detroit studios in Ferndale, Moss and Spiro discussed the Jordan Zimmermann signing, why the Tigers need to target a top corner outfielder and not a #4 starter, Red Wings analytics with Prashanth Iyer of WingingItInMotown.com and Moss gets Jon Paul Morosi’s named shaved into his head.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 4, 2015
AUBURN HILLS — I usually don’t insert datelines in my articles, but, since I just happen to be sitting mere feet from the Oakland University dormitories and the subject of this story is the Golden Grizzlies, I decided to make an exception.
Dateline Detroit reported on Friday that longtime Detroit News writer Terry Foster would soon be starting a new gig as Oakland University’s online basketball writer.
Yep, our favorite five-tool imbecile is back at it. Or as we like to call him …. the African-American Ralph Kramden. A man who has NEVER turned down a scheme anopportunity to make a few extra bucks.
But this new venture as the Tim Twentyman of Golden Grizzlies basketball might be the most humiliating side venture in a career chock-full of them. Plus it comes on the heels of Foster being forced into retirement by the News.
As the DSR has been reporting for a year now, the News was finally at a tipping point with the continued ridiculous employment of Foster — with his six-figure salary for doing next to nothing — while he also worked at 97.1-FM on his weekday radio program.
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The fact that Foster was earning a SALARY while he basically filled in as needed by writing illegible copy became extremely grating to others in the News sports department to the point where it allegedly developed into a morale issue**.
Because of the strong newspaper guild, Foster could not be fired. But the paper had a HUGE opening when Vincent Goodwill left the Pistons beat to shill in Chicago last December. The paper’s overlords informed Foster that he had to cover the Pistons, knowing full well that there was no chance he could do that gig AND continue to bloviate with Mike Valenti.
(** — It seems that Foster’s only ally in his battle with the paper was Bob Wojnowski and you can connect the dots on why Wojo would take a PERSONAL interest in this matter.)
Anyway, Foster tried to put off his inevitable decision to choose CBS Radio over the News for as long as possible, but finally accepted a buyout this month.
But you have to ask yourself, why in the hell would a man who worked for 27 years at the News accept an online shilling writing position for a lowly NCAA team in the HORIZON LEAGUE?
It’s the equivalent of playing three decades for the Tigers and, when you finally get kicked to the curb, you end up embarrassing yourself with the St. Cloud Saints of the Independent League.
Or maybe, just maybe, Foster is in desperate need to replace the income the News provided. (We all know that it’s been a rough year for Foster in the restaurant business.)
You might remember Foster trumpeting his new Eastside dining establishment last year ……
Well, coincidentally enough, the DAY the announcement was made that Foster would be accepting this gig at Oakland U., a reader supplied me with these photos of Mariachi’s Cantina’s front door …..
Yep, a delinquent tax bill of $6,579.81 accompanied by the Township of Chesterfield chain-locking the door to prevent anyone from gaining entrance.
Now, we have known that Mariachi’s Cantina (later known as Cactus Jack’s) has been out of business for months, but it was still hilarious to have these images sent to me within minutes of finding out about Foster’s new job covering Greg Kampe’s basketball team.
This is now his THIRD Macomb County business that Foster has witnessed go down in flames (after the demise of both Candy Express at Lakeside Mall and Foster’s Smokehouse in Fraser).
Which leads me to an inevitable question. Does Foster make so little at 97.1 that he has to constantly look for these get-rich-quick schemes? For fuck’s sake, he once tried to weasel his way into the DSR as my partner with a harebrained scheme to make this a Metro Times-esque weekly newspaper.
The man is co-host of the most popular sports talk radio program in the history of the genre in Detroit and yet he continues to latch onto any opportunity to put a few extra bucks in his pocket.
You’d think if you were part of the highest rated PM drive show in Detroit you wouldn’t have to juggle all of these other side projects, but I am guessing CBS Radio views Foster as expendable and Valenti as the key component of the program. Which is probably why Valenti doesn’t have to show up for the show on Black Friday while Foster does.
And let me break down the absolute desperation of Foster when he went into these other ventures. His partner on both Foster’s Closedhouse and Mankind’s Mexican Horror Show was a gentleman named Ryan Thierry.
You might remember Thierry from a DSR article detailing his alleged choke-slamming of an audio/video contractor at Foster’s.
Well, that wasn’t Thierry’s only brush with the police. Based on the DSR’s research, we found five arrests for operating a vehicle while impaired!!!!!
FIVE!!!!!!
So Foster decided to go into the BAR business with a habitual drunk driver. Huh? Didn’t want to partner up with Lary Sorensen? Was the ex-pitcher and former WDFN employee not a big fan of either brisket or margaritas?
Can you imagine going into the liquor service business with a man who has THAT rap sheet? A reader of the DSR informed me that Thierry coached his son’s hockey team and Thierry couldn’t even get into Canada because of the laundry list of DUIs.
What’s Foster’s next business endeavor going to be, selling crock pots with members of ISIS?
Holy piss.
Would anyone be surprised if the next thing this guy attempts to do is use his Twitter and Instagram feeds as an advertising tool …….
I will provide Michigan State tweets tonight brought to you by Bob’s Cupcake Shoppe. Man that place is sweet
— Terry Foster (@TerryFoster971) December 6, 2015
Too late!!!!!
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 7, 2015
Moss was on 92.1FM in Lansing earlier today with Ryan Shuiling discussing the Tigers offseason moves and where they need to go from here. Also, a discussion of what planet Mike Ilitch is currently on.
By Jeff Moss, “Richie Tenenbaum” and Josh Kreger
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 8, 2015
A couple of weeks before Christmas in 1979, the Detroit Red Wings moved to their brand-new downtown home. The riverfront stadium would be known as Joe Louis Arena and it was a welcome replacement for the old barn (the Olympia) where you had approximately the same odds of witnessing a hat trick as getting stabbed outside for the money in your wallet.
Unfortunately, at a cost of nearly $60 million, the building named after the legendary heavyweight champion was pretty much outdated from the moment the doors opened on December 12th.
The legend of the horrendous edifice has grown over the last 36 years but there is no mistaking the fact that the original architect must have been on a bender when he or she designed the joint.
From the narrow concourses and the trough urinals to the code-violating lower bowl stairs — sans railing — and the treacherous outdoor entrance, the arena has always been an embarrassment.
They forgot to build a press box, for crying out loud!!! Although, maybe the designers were prescient and knew that the likes of Cynthia Lambert, Ansar Khan, Ted Kulfan, Keith Gave and Helene St. James would be cheerleaders for the organization and figured that they could just sit with the rest of the team’s fans.
The fan experience has always been awful inside the JLA (and this is coming from someone who has enjoyed season tickets since 1980). When the Winger (the deceased team mascot) and Score-O have been the best aspect of the in-game entertainment over five decades, you know something has gone drastically wrong.
Thankfully, the actual team on the ice has been entertaining almost continuously since the franchise drafted Steve Yzerman in 1983 because it has only gotten worse in recent years with the addition of noted fanboy Brad Galli to emcee the festivities.
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Of course, ground has already been broken for the team’s next home and, by all accounts, we are in store for a major improvement. The 2017-18 season cannot get here soon enough for those of us who have been accustomed to having their knees in their mouths due to the cramped seating at the Joe. Spirit Airlines laughs at the leg room in the lower bowl.
But even when the beautiful new facility opens at a cost of over 600 million dollars, the place will still feel stale if the organization doesn’t replace the same, tired DJ who has been in charge of the music since 1994.
Because the worst part about the current fan experience at the JLA is the dude who plays the music to supposedly entertain the crowd during stoppages and intermissions — a gentleman who goes by the name of T. Campbell.
Why does this doofus only go by his first initial? I am not sure, but if your idea of “happening” music was Third Eye Blind, Lit and the theme song to “Friends” …. well … you’d probably want to remain somewhat anonymous as well.
It’s hard to determine what the worst part of T. Campbell’s shtick is. You could go with the mix of horrendous new music that nobody in that arena has ever heard…
Or the hackneyed and cliched bits for certain events in any given game that haven’t changed since the Clinton administration. An act so telegraphed that Carrot Top is embarrassed for this disc jockey.
Or the cringe inducing old songs that “The Hockey Jockey” spins which were [Trout] awful when they were originally released.
Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that the douche goes by the moniker “The Hockey Jockey???” Or that he brags on his website that he is the four-time Stanley Cup-winning DJ of the Wings**?
OHHHH, and that website. This is what the DJ actually looks like …..
Kind of like the DJ for Skeletor’s son’s Bar Mitvah, right?
And here is the caricature of him on his site ….
Wait, what?!??!? The photograph looks like Colin Cowherd after being dead for three years and the caricature resembles John Travolta from his “Welcome Back, Kotter” days.
Only creepy 105.1FM producer Tom Mazawey has a more flattering cartoon of himself on his webpage …..
Mazawey wouldn’t be THAT thin if he had spent two years in a concentration camp.
(** — What is it with members of this organization associating themselves with Stanley Cup victories? First, it was former team trainer John Wharton. Now, the DISC JOCKEY!!! Do the ushers and popcorn vendors label themselves as such as well?)
But, I digress. Anyway, the DSR community’s distaste for Hockeytown’s version of Scott “The Engineer” Salem reached its apex recently so I decided to attend a game with website contributor “Richie Tenenbaum” armed with three devices loaded with the Shazam app, a pad and pen.
The mission was to document the abortion of a setlist for a Wings home game so you, the reader, could see in black and white how putrid T.’s music selection is.
So without further pomp and circumstance, here is the setlist for the Wings/Coyotes game from December 3, 2015 ……
Wildest Dreams (Taylor Swift)
Cheeseburger in Paradise (Jimmy Buffett)
Five More Hours (Deorro and Chris Brown)
Sun is Shining (Axwell and Ingrosso)
Split – Only U (Tiesto and The Chainsmokers)
Cannonball (Showtek & Justin Prime Feat. Matthew Koma)
Chemicals (Tiesto and Don Diablo Feat.Thomas Troelsen)
Be Right There (Diplo and Sleepy Tom)
Back to Earth (Steve Aoki Feat. Fallout Boy)
Detroit Rock City (Kiss)
Come On Get up (Adrenaline Mob)
Dreaming (Smallpools)
My Type (Saint Motel)
AFTER GOAL REVERSAL
No, No, No, Nobody But Me (The Human Beinz)
Ex’s and Oh’s (Elle King)
Could Have Been Me (The Struts)
AFTER PENALTY
That’s How You Know (Nico and Vanz)
Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes)
50/50 RAFFLE
Got Your Money (50/50 raffle) (ODB)
Gold on the Ceiling (Black Keys)
MILITARY INTRODUCTION
Born in the USA (Bruce Springsteen)
Proud To Be an American (Lee Greenwood)
Born Free (Kid Rock)
Shut Up and Dance (Walk the Moon)
Born to be Wild (Steppenwolf)
Stereo (Iamdynamite)
RED WINGS GOAL
Hey, Hey, Hockeytown
AFTER PENALTY
Dragnet Theme song
Man in the Mirror (Michael Jackson)
Big Bang (Burgeous)
Moves like Jagger (Maroon 5)
SHOT OFF THE POST
Ring My Bell (Anita Ward)
Panic Station (Muse)
NIKLAS KRONWALL GOAL
I Can’t Drive 55 (Sammy Hagar)
AFTER WINGS THIRD GOAL
ABC (Jackson 5)
AFTER A FIGHT
Fight For Your Right (Beastie Boys)
END OF FIRST PERIOD
ZAMBONI INTRODUCTIONS
You Can Call Me Al (Paul Simon)
Isn’t She Lovely (Stevie Wonder)
We Are Family (Sister Sledge)
BIRTHDAY NAMES ON THE SCOREBOARD
Celebrate (Kool and the Gang)
CHARITY ANNOUNCEMENT
Give a Little Bit (Goo Goo Dolls)
Can’t Feel My Face (The Weeknd)
Party Hard (Andrew W.K.)
START OF SECOND PERIOD
Crazy (Brooklyn Bounce)
Lonely Boy (Black Keys)
Zorba the Greek (Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass)
Dirty Little Secret (All-American Rejects)
COYOTE GOAL
Don’t Worry (Madcon)
RED WINGS FOURTH GOAL
A Matter of Trust (Billy Joel)
Just Dance (Lady Gaga)
The Hum (Dimitri Vegas)
Levels — Skrillex Remix (Avicii)
Obsession (Animotion)
Hotline Bling (Drake)
DANCE OFF COMPETITION
Getting Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith)
The Wave (Vinai Feat Harrison)
Cha Cha Slide (DJ Casper)
Friends Theme Song (The Rembrandts)
If I Had a Million Dollars (Barenaked Ladies)
Your Love (The Outfield)
I Like The Way (Bodyrockers)
Thrift Shop (Macklemore)
Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash)
SECOND INTERMISSION
You Can Call Me Al (Paul Simon) REPEAT
She’s a Lady (Tom Jones)
I Get Around (Beach Boys)
JUKE BOX SELECTION
Dirty Deeds (AC/DC)
Victorious (Panic at the Disco)
Put Your Hands Up for Detroit (Fedde le Grand)
Best Day of My Life (American Authors)
Only the Good Die Young (Billy Joel)
Hungry Like the Wolf (Duran Duran)
I Write Sins Not Tragedies (Panic at the Disco)
DARREN HELM GOAL
Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins)
Need for Speed Sound Drop
Ride With Me (Nelly)
Be Faithful (Fatman Scoop)
It’s All Been Done (Barenaked Ladies)
Jump Around (House of Pain)
I Wouldn’t Wanna Be Like Disco (Osmose)
Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes) REPEAT
Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen)
DSR CATFISH REQUEST
Epic (Faith No More)
It’s Not Unusual (Tom Jones)
My Own Worst Enemy (Lit)
Sweet Home Alabama (Lynard Skynyard)
Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey)
Build Me Up Buttercup (The Foundations)
Just a Friend (Biz Markie)
All I Do Is Win (DJ Khalid) — REPEAT
END OF GAME
Now, I implore you to not just gloss over that list. Do not skim or browse. You must meticulously look at that GARBAGE and breathe it in like a bad fart.
Just completing the formatting of those songs makes me want to run to my nearest Walgreens, purchase an X-acto knife and carve out my own eardrums.
Here are some impressions of the setlist from hell:
1) Nothing is going to rev up a blue-collar fanbase more than Taylor Swift, Nelly and the shithead who treated Rihanna’s face like a pinata. Do you not know your demographic?
Turn on the late game on any given Saturday night on Hockey Night in Canada from Calgary or Edmonton and you’ll hear the DJ playing Metallica, Rage Against the Machine, Tool and “The Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson.
Meanwhile, we are stuck with this dipshit playing something by someone named Diplo. Way to know your audience. Hockey fans want HARD ROCK and HEAVY METAL, not dance music and Michael Jackson.
2) Two songs by Tiesto. What the hell is a Tiesto?
3) Not that they were creative when “The Hockey Jockey” started playing them in 1995, but is there anything more played out than the “Dragnet” theme when a penalty is called, “A Matter of Trust” when the Wings score their fourth goal or the Beastie Boys after a fight???!??!?
And how has Al Sobotka not choked this guy out after listening to “You Can Call Me Al” being played twice a night for the last 20-plus years?
I am not saying you have to be Dennis Miller, but how about having SOME creativity for this shit?
How hard would it be to play the Season 2 theme to “The Wire” once in awhile when Sobotka comes out on the Zamboni?
4) Two Billy Joel songs. Is this a Wings home game or the 35th reunion for Syosset High School’s Class of 1980?
5) Seven Nation Army.
Twice.
And not even the good version by Audioslave with Tom Morello’s killer guitar riffs.
6) Build Me Up Buttercup?!!?!?!?! Is this an NHL tilt or a fucking Dermot Mulroney flick that my wife dragged me to see?
7) Lady Gaga, Adam Levine, Nico and Vanz. This imbecile is aware that 75% of the seats are filled with people from Downriver, right?
8) TWO songs by Tom Jones. Seriously. Two songs. By Tom Jones. Ya gotta believe me. They don’t even play two songs by Tom Jones in LAS VEGAS at this point.
9) And of course the highlight of the evening ….. a song by Journey from 1981 that mentions a part of Detroit that doesn’t even exist.
Actually, I can’t even blame Campbell for playing this garbage as the white trash puck bunnies eat this crap up.
10) At this point you might be asking how I could bash a man who played a song by my favorite band. And yes, “The Hockey Jockey” did play “Epic” by Faith No More.
But he only did it at the request of the DSR’s Catfisher-in-Chief, Mihir “Melrose Jerry Green” Bhatnagar.
Melissa Charlton is my wife’s maiden name in case you are wondering.
So, yes, the new arena off Woodward Avenue will almost assuredly have every accoutrement, bell, whistle and feature known to mankind.
But if the new gazillion-dollar sound system is being manned by “The Hockey Jockey” leading a sing-along of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline,” then nothing really has changed at all.
Hire a new DJ and create an analytics department.
I don’t ask for much.
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 9, 2015
Topics on Episode 8 of the DSR Podcast:
The fallout of Moss’s Pope Jon Paul Morosi Haircut
Pat Caputo’s Latest Asinine Baseball Hall of Fame Ballot
Update on the Detroit Tigers Offseason Moves
Jim Caldwell’s Last Four Games as an NFL Coach
The Week That Was in Detroit Sports Talk Radio
Michigan State in the Football Final Four
DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 14, 2015
On this week’s Moss appearance on Ryan Schuiling’s show, the DSR’s Editor-in-Chief discussed Deja Vu strip club, American Pharoah losing the SI Sportsmen of the Year award, the Lions, Eric Ebron, the Tigers, Denard Span and much, much more.
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 16, 2015
On Episode 9 of the DSR Podcast from the beautiful Podcast Detroit studios in Ferndale, Moss and Spiro discussed the following topics:
After the bump you will find details regarding the DSR contest to win two tickets to the Cotton Bowl to watch MSU vs. Alabama in the College Football Playoff Semifinal.
So, here is the deal. Spiro has TWO extra tickets to the State/Bama matchup. We will be giving those away at the Tom Kowalski charity event at the Lodge on Thursday night.
All you have to do to enter is show up and donate to Killer’s charity in some fashion and you are eligible. By 1:00am you will have to enter the contest by sending either Spy or Miss a funny picture from the event.
Come up and check in with Moss. He will be the idiot wearing the skullcap because of his [Trout] awful Jon Paul Morosi haircut.
Finally, Moss is a fucking moron. At the end of the Podcast there was some “breaking news” about Steven Stamkos. At the time, Moss and Spiro had Jasper on the phone.
Neither Gyro or Mess remembered to ask Apollonia about the time his girlfriend got hit on by the Lightning superstar forward. She still has his email we believe.
IDIOTS.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 18, 2015
Believe it or not, being married to me is no walk in the park. This manifests itself in a variety of ways, but one particular negative for Melissa Myst is that she is very limited in what kind of car she can drive.
I refuse to assist in paying for a BMW, Mercedes-Benz or Volkswagen because I am still not over that whole six million dead Jews in Germany deal. The optics of driving a Japanese car in Detroit are awful and, if I ever need to take her vehicle on a work job, it could be vocational suicide.
The lease on her General Motors SUV is up in 2016 and she thought she was in the clear when she told me recently that she was leaning towards the new Lincoln MKC, but she was surprised when I informed her that I didn’t want to house a Ford product in our garage.
You can probably figure out why I don’t want to purchase anything from FOMOCO — #1PlayoffWinIn58Years and the franchise owned by the Ford family trying to get me arrested — but Melissa was pretty much at her wit’s end that she had been limited to GM and Chrysler products only.
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There is one person in the local “media” who doesn’t have to worry about the sort of decision that Melissa is currently facing, however — DetroitLions.com “insider” Tim Twentyman.
You see, the man who is the alleged “beat writer” for this abortion of a franchise’s website not only has his salary paid by Martha Ford and Sheila Hamp, he also has the fringe benefit of having a COMPANY CAR**.
Yep, Tim Twentyman is provided a Ford Fusion for his attempt to fool the public into believing he is a journalist and not a bought-and-paid for whore doing the bidding of the Ford family in a public relations capacity.
A company car!!!!! Hahahhhahhahahahaha.
(** — This might be a semantical issue, but if Twentyman drives a Ford product, he gets reimbursed for his expense. If he does not, he isn’t entitled to a stipend. Sorry, but I call THAT a company car.)
So, if you are one of the dummies who actually reads the Lions website for content or are one of this shill’s 52,000 Twitter followers, just know that his direct deposit is authorized by Martha, he’d get a BONUS if the team could ever win a postseason game and he is provided a COMPANY CAR to propagandize for the worst sports organization on Earth.
That’s “journalism” in 2015/2016, folks.
And Melissa? Well, I think we finally compromised with a Range Rover. Yeah, I know it’s not American, but I have always had a fondness for Def Leppard, Idris Elba and Royal Ascot.
After all, marriage is about shared sacrifice.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 19, 2015
I have nothing personal against Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford. Since his arrival in Detroit in 2009, he has done nothing but represent the franchise in an exemplary fashion off the field.
The man has been a model citizen and while you can debate whether or not he is the QB to lead this team going forward or if his failure to win a postseason game as a professional makes him a failure, you can’t argue about his standing in this community.
His wife is an altogether different silicone- or saline-filled situation. Other than the team’s Minister of Propaganda Bill Keenist, there isn’t anyone connected to the organization whom I have more disdain for than Kelly B. Hall Stafford.
The woman is straight out of central casting as the star quarterback’s “trophy” wife: The seemingly airheaded ex-cheerleader with a pair of inflatable Spalding basketballs implanted in her chest who latched onto the gazillion-dollar right arm of Stafford while they attended UGA.
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Not since Jimmy Hart retired from the pro wrestling circuit has a sidekick from south of the Mason/Dixon line been such an annoying loud mouth.
While Stafford has remained humble and quiet while seeking to avoid any potential controversy, his significant other has spent the last six-plus years alienating and aggravating the team’s depressed fanbase with her social media antics.
I don’t have the time or the inclination to list all of her asinine comments, but suffice to say she has no concept of what Lions fans have been going through over the last six decades.
And her “We Haven’t Been Here All of That Time So Don’t Blame Us” defense falls on deaf ears as well since she should have some intimate knowledge of your surroundings by now.
Her act would be similar to some new immigrant wandering the streets of Germany in the late 1950’s wondering why it was so difficult to find either a good bowl of matzoh ball soup or a Kosher butcher.
Her worst transgression ever was the her quote after a 23-20 loss at the hands of the New York Giants in 2013 that eliminated her then-boyfriend’s team from playoff contention …
“You wouldn’t even know we were playing at home the way these fans are booing our home team. #Unbelievable.”
At that point the team hadn’t won a championship in 56 years and this bimbo was confused as to why the team’s fans might have been a little perturbed.
She has also stuck her foot in her mouth many other times, whether by bombing lifelong fans of this moribund franchise, bragging that she paid for her boob job with her own money or whining about coaches, referees or who the hell knows what else.
But Mrs. Stafford’s tone-deafness might have set a new bar earlier today in an imbecilic post on Instagram. (She deleted her Twitter account years ago which I am guessing was at the request of #9 himself.)
Yep, the wife of a man who has earned over $120 million since entering the NFL was advertising the fact that she had some extra tickets for sale on StubHub for Monday night’s Lions vs. Saints game in New Orleans.
Now, let’s be clear about the offense here. If Stafford wanted to unload these ducats on the ticket exchange app, NOBODY would have taken issue with it because NOBODY would have known. StubHub is an anonymous platform and the wife of the filthy-rich QB could have tried to recoup her investment.
But to go on Instagram and try to hock these extras was absolutely astonishing. She was using her stature as a player’s wife to sell the tickets to a bunch of people who are only following her on that website because she is the QB’s WIFE!!!!
It’s gross and it shows a total lack of self-awareness. Stafford later posted that she was just trying to sell them because her grandfather was ill and her plans for MNF had changed.
At that point she had two options:
But to go on a social media site and advertise the sale of the tickets was insanely STUPID and the immediate firestorm that occurred was EXTREMELY predictable to anyone except this woman, whose bra size obviously outpaces her IQ.
The DSR tried to rectify the situation in the spirit of the holiday season. I attempted to purchase two of the tickets she was offering for 700 bucks with the plan to give them to charity. I had made a commitment to the New Orleans Children’s Hospital to give the tickets to a child who needed some cheering up.
But, by the time I did, it would appear that Stafford had come to her senses and pulled them off the site in order to mitigate the PR disaster. This was the message I received when trying to make the purchase …
I tried about 25 times to complete the transaction to no avail.
But this story has a happy ending. While I could not purchase the Kelly Stafford tickets, I did successfully acquire four seats to the Saints sold-out matchup with the Lions and have donated them to the children’s hospital.
While they might not be as good as the premium “Bunker Club” seats, I doubt the kids will complain much. Plus, because of the more economical price, we were able to buy four seats rather than just two.
Kelly Stafford’s foolish Instagram post also led the DSR’s managing editor, Justin Spiro, to donate two tickets for the Cotton Bowl between Michigan State and Alabama to a pair of wounded warriors through Operation Homefront.
With six days left before Christmas, this atheist Jew asks you to donate tickets to an organization like @OP_homefront or @CHNola as well so someone who normally wouldn’t be able to attend a sporting event can have the opportunity.
And finally …..
GO SAINTS!!!
By DSR Staff
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 21, 2015
On this week’s Moss appearance on Ryan Schuiling’s show, the DSR’s Editor-in-Chief discussed the Mitch Albom shenanigans at Costco and his article ripping Kelly B. Hall Stafford for hocking her Lions/Saints tickets on her Instagram account.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 21, 2015
There is no question that Mitch Albom does a lot of good charitable work. Earlier this month the prolific novella author raised over a million dollars during his annual WJR Radiothon.
The Freep columnist has also raised a ton of money for inner city youths in Detroit so they can have a safe location at which to participate athletically. Hell, Mitch has done so much for the people of Haiti following their horrific earthquake of 2010 that I jokingly nicknamed him “Wyclef Albom.”
And there was a time when Albom wasn’t a constant target of this website. In fact, I used to be a total Mitch Albom slappy. I was a huge fan of his early work at the Free Press, purchased all of his “Live Albom” books and was a regular attendee at E.G. Nick’s in West Bloomfield for his old “Sunday Sports Albom” on WLLZ.
Hell, a year after I graduated high school, my journalism adviser at West Bloomfield H.S. invited me back to class because Albom was going to be doing a Q & A for her students and I excitedly accepted.
In fact, if I told you in 1989 that I would be spending the Sunday before Christmas in 2015 goofing on Albom at a Costco, I would have had you institutionalized.
I worshipped the dude.
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And if Albom would have just stepped aside from his job as this city’s preeminent sports writing voice after it became abundantly clear in 2003 (after the wild success of “Tuesdays With Morrie” and “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”) that his Freep gig was more nuisance than responsibility, I wouldn’t be writing this today.
But instead of stepping aside so he could concentrate his time on penning death-obsessed fiction for the menopausal masses, Albom contaminated his legacy with the Cleaves/Richardson debacle, began a series of attacks on baristas, refused to learn the importance of sabermetrics in today’s sports world, further sullied his damaged reputation with his quota-meeting Dr. Football series and finally refused to recuse himself from Matthew Stafford articles after accepting a seven-figure check from the Lions QB for one of Albom’s charities.
Unfortunately, Albom isn’t a character in one of his horribly reviewed books so he can’t enter some wormhole and return to the year 2003 and step down as the lead columnist for the Freep before he irrevocably damages his sports journalism career.
Because once hanging out with Hank Azaria and Oprah Winfrey became more important than covering the Wings, Pistons, Lions and Tigers, he became a scourge to Detroit sports fans.
Which is how I ended up at the Costco by Great Lakes Crossing on Sunday afternoon with Mihir Bhatnagar … the DSR’s own version of “Stuttering” John Melendez.
You see, Albom was signing his most recent book, “The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto” and I thought it would be entertaining to purchase a couple of copies of Mitch’s most recent sappy and overly sentimental work of fiction and ask Albom for a goofy personalized dedication.
And after waiting in a 45-minute line that snaked around the members-only warehouse, Mihir and I finally arrived in front of Albom. So what did we ask the New York Times best-selling author to write in our copies?
I thought you’d never ask!!!
And if you somehow doubt the authenticity of those signatures and believe we are making this up, well …. we did a live Periscope of this momentous occasion.
All in all, Albom was a very good sport about the entire situation.
And his quote, “You got some cult going there …” to me?
Well, it’s nothing compared to the army of 55-year-old Ellen DeGeneres fans you had lined up around Costco yesterday, Mitch.
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 22, 2015
In the first hour of last night’s DSR Podcast, Jasper Appolonia — filling in for Justin Spiro — and I discussed my plan to castrate people spoiling Star Wars, the Mitch Albom book signing event and Kelly B. Hall Stafford’s big mouth.
But it was the second hour that might go down as the greatest in the history of DSR podcasts.
It began with an interview with Jason Fielder of WNEM-5 in Saginaw regarding his recent Howard Stern obsessed sportscast that went viral.
And things really went off the rails when we surprised Fielder with Stern Show regular Sour Shoes. Sour spent the next 40 minutes doing impressions of Artie Lange, Gary “Bababooey” Dell’abate, Mike Francesa, Mad Dog Russo, Vinnie Favale, Jim McClure, Crazy Alice, Gary the Conqueror, Scott Ferrell, Justin Bieber, Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling, Madonna, Jackson Dell’abate and many, many more.
And of course, we had to discuss Sour pranking Anthony Fenech and Lynn Henning earlier this year.
The Fielder interview starts at around 49 minute mark with Sour Shoes entering a few minutes later ….
By Justin Spiro
spirojus@Gmail.com
December 24, 2015
A journalist for The Detroit Free Press has committed the greatest transgression in his field, plagiarizing the work of another writer.
A DSR investigation has revealed that Drew Sharp, longtime writer for the Freep, has been caught plagiarizing a November 20 article written by David Harns of iSportsWeb. The article in question detailed Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook’s relationship with Miranda McCoy, an Ohio woman who developed a fondness for the MSU football team after suffering major injuries in an automobile accident. McCoy, now a quadriplegic, shared her story with Harns in a detailed account.
A few weeks later, on December 4th, Sharp also told the story of Miranda McCoy and Connor Cook in his Freep column. The similarities between Sharp’s article and the Harns piece are striking, and with good reason. Drew Sharp stole the Harns story and presented it as his own.
The DSR has learned that Sharp never spoke to Miranda McCoy before telling her inspiring story of resilience in the Freep. In fact, according to our sources the only person he spoke to was Cook, who only provided his perspective and commented on what McCoy’s support had meant to him. All of the details of McCoy’s story and experience were lifted entirely from the Harns piece, lacking any attribution to iSportsWeb or to Harns himself.
We have learned from our source at the paper that the Freep editors were made aware of Sharp’s plagiarism, investigated it and confirmed Sharp had stolen Harns’ reporting. They have since issued corrections in both the print and online editions of the Sharp column. The online piece has been edited to include several references to iSportsWeb, including three separate links to the original source material.
Harns, who has been paid by the Freep in the past for freelance work, was offered his usual rate for his unintended contributions to Sharp’s story according to our source at the paper. This was seen as a form of restitution from the newspaper’s editorial staff.
According to McCoy though, Harns turned down their offer, instead requesting that the Freep make a donation to Shriners Children’s Hospital in Chicago, a charity of great importance to Miranda McCoy. The Freep agreed to double the donation and make the requested contribution. We are awaiting confirmation of whether or not this donation has been made by the paper.
Incredibly, according to our industry source, the Freep admitted Sharp’s transgression privately to Harns, apologized for it, issued corrections to the column, and sought to make Harns whole financially for his work. What they did not do was either suspend or terminate Sharp, who has had several columns published since his plagiarism of Harns came to light. Sharp’s most recent piece on Nick Saban’s exit from Michigan State in 1999 was published earlier this morning.
And while Sharp never spoke to Miranda, the DSR did. The following is her reaction to the Sharp feature:
“I have not talked to Drew Sharp or anyone else with the Free Press before or after their story was published. I was browsing Twitter and noticed Joe Rexrode praising Drew Sharp for his article about me. At first I thought it was cool that someone had picked up on Dave’s story, then I read it. I paused and was like ‘wait, what?’ I didn’t tell any of this stuff to him, and there were some details about me that were wrong.”
The details that were incorrect were minor in detail and innocent memory mistakes Connor Cook made in retelling the story.
But Miranda wasn’t finished ….
“Dave’s original article is the reason I was able to meet Connor Cook… I was upset that someone would do that (take his story) to Dave… but Dave has said he is completely content with their (Freep) handling of it, and if he is OK with it, I am OK with it.”
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One is left to wonder why the Detroit Free Press quietly and retroactively inserted proper attribution into Sharp’s December 4th column. While such a correction was imperative, it is grossly insufficient in addressing the ethical issues presented. The Freep knows that Sharp stole the work of another writer and presented it as his own. Meanwhile, they continue to publish Sharp columns and to date have not told their readers what occurred.
Imagine if in 2005 the Freep had simply updated the online version of Mitch Albom’s false story about Mateen Cleaves and Jason Richardson attending a Spartan basketball game they did not actually attend.
“Editor’s Note: This article has been updated to reflect the fact that Mitch Albom wrote a majority of his column before the game commenced. Mr. Cleaves and Mr. Richardson were at home watching the game and not in St. Louis for the MSU/North Carolina game as Mr. Albom had portrayed.”
But the Freep did more than that in 2005. The newspaper printed an apology from Albom — even if the columnist did so kicking and screaming the entire way — and promised a thorough investigation in a letter from editor Carole Leigh Hutton. That letter appeared on the front page of the major daily.
For all of their mistakes in handling the Albom matter, the Freep at least offered complete transparency in the wake of Albom’s fabrication. And there were consequences for those involved, as the veteran columnist and several editors who had approved the story were suspended at the conclusion of the Freep investigation.
It would appear that ten years later, major violations of journalistic integrity at the Freep are handled differently. If Sharp has been punished, it wouldn’t seem to be in the form of a suspension. And no public apology or even acknowledgment of their columnist’s grievous ethical transgression has been made by the Freep.
The DSR reached out to David Harns for comment upon discovery of Sharp’s plagiarism but he was only willing to say the following:
Everybody makes mistakes, myself included. I’m satisfied with how the Free Press handled this situation and I consider the matter closed.
Harns would not comment on details regarding his resolution with the Freep and whether or not it included an apology from Sharp.
This is not the first time that someone has accused Sharp of using the Internet dubiously to assist in his work. In 2009, Sharp was caught using a fake Wikipedia quote attributed to Rush Limbaugh in a column where he accused the conservative blowhard of mentioning the merits of slavery.
Limbaugh vociferously denied the charge and publicly called Sharp out for using a bogus quote.
This is not Sharp’s first journalistic transgression covered by the DSR, either. Back in 2011, Sharp wrote a column about Justin Verlander‘s no-hitter in Toronto against the Blue Jays.
Not only was Sharp not in Toronto, he wasn’t even watching a majority of the game that he attempted to cover. Sharp’s piece included several factual errors apparent to anyone watching Verlander’s second career no-no.
You can read the DSR’s three-part expose on Sharp’s 2011 embarrassment here:
It was abundantly clear that Sharp wrote about aspects of the game he didn’t watch. In an email to DSR publisher Jeff Moss, he acknowledged missing the first half of the game. That did not stop him from commenting on the first five innings in his article, though.
Unsurprisingly, the Free Press sports department — then run by sports editor Gene Myers — did nothing. In fact, they did worse than nothing. They issued a public statement defending Sharp’s column even though it was clear that plays Sharp described in his column did not actually occur.
Ironically, Sharp’s email interaction with Moss included dismissive messages regarding “bloggers.”
Sharp’s tastes appear to have changed since 2011 considering his December 4th Connor Cook piece would have never been possible without Sharp plagiarizing David Harns.
You know …. a blogger.
While this isn’t a situation with much humor, we would be remiss if we didn’t include a few comments from Free Press readers of Sharp’s heist piece. These commenters obviously did not know that Sharp had lifted Harns’ work for his story …
In retrospect, it is hilarious that these four Freep readers could not believe that Sharp would write a piece like the one he did on Cook. Because, he kind of didn’t.
We have tried to reach interim sports editor** Kevin Bull at the paper for comment, but it would appear that last night’s storm has knocked out the Freep’s phone lines. He has not responded to an email requesting comment either.
(** — We have been led to believe that Bull is currently holding down the fort until a permanent replacement for Myers is named.)
We have also left a voicemail on Sharp’s cell phone and we are awaiting a return call.
It will be interesting to see how the Freep handles this situation as many journalists and academics believed that Albom should have been fired for his own MSU transgression a decade ago.
The paper was also heavily criticized for their handling of the Rich Rodriguez/University of Michigan “practice hours” investigation that was headed by COLUMNIST Michael Rosenberg.
You cannot read New York Times best-selling author John U. Bacon’s book “Three and Out” and not conclude that Rosenberg’s investigation was a witch hunt and that the former Freep columnist had an axe to grind with the current University of Arizona head coach.
Now that Myers is off into retirement, it will be interesting to see if the paper handles these type of ethical breaches more seriously.
Whoever is in charge now that Myers is gone is officially on the clock. As it stands now, it looks like nothing has changed except that the Freep is now paying for this kind of stuff to go away.
Hush money.
If you’d like to see with your own two eyes the original Harns’ article, the print version of Sharp’s column and the current online version still on the Freep website as of this writing …. well here ya go ….
Screenshots of David Harns’ iSportsWeb Feature
Drew Sharp’s Column from Freep Print Edition December 4, 2015
Drew Sharp’s Column from Freep Online Edition December 15, 2015
By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 26, 2015
If you are a regular reader of this website, you probably already know that I am an Atheist who doesn’t celebrate either Hanukah or Christmas. In fact, there is only one holiday that I do honor and it lands on today’s date.
No, not Boxing Day. Today is the 19th anniversary of Sergei Fedorov scoring five goals against the Washington Capitals at the Joe Louis Arena. And on every December 26th, the DSR celebrates this incredible achievement.
The Wings won that game 5-4 in overtime. Yes, #91 scored every goal for Detroit that evening. Or as Rich Eisen called it on ESPN …. “the final score Sergei Fedorov 5 Washington Capitals 4.”
I would recommend that you properly reflect on this High Holy Day and also send a letter to the Red Wings demanding the franchise retire Fedorov’s #91 immediately.
Happy Sergei Fedorov Five-Goal Night!!!!!!
