Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
February 14, 2015
After nine days of intense match-ups we have arrived at the culmination of the Worst Detroit Sports Personality Tournament of 2015 with two worthy combatants …..
Lynn Henning of the Detroit News versus 97.1’s morbidly obese Scott Anderson
The champion’s name will be engraved on the most prestigious trophy in Detroit Sports Media ….. the M.L. Curly Cup!!!
If you are still debating over whom you are going to vote for — polls open at 12:01am this Monday and close at 8pm — the DSR has graciously included the “Tale of the Tape” between these two mental midgets, which you can find at the top of this page.
Here is the updated bracket:
As you can see, “Mr. Imperfect” reached the final by vanquishing Mike Valenti, Mark Snyder, Terry Foster, Vincent Goodwill,, Jr. and Drew Sharp.
Not since Honey Roy Palmer had to survive ten Diggstown men in a 24-hour period has a competitor faced such a daunting task. “The Deacon” had to defeat the polarizing Valenti; Michael Rosenberg’s weasel in crime; the 2014 champ and 2012 runner-up; the despicable GoodSHILL; and a disingenuous troll just to get HERE.
The major question as the final approaches is this … Has Henning exerted too much energy just to get to the Final and will Anderson’s immense weight advantage take a tremendous toll on the weary Tigers prospect lover?
Because in comparison to the gauntlet Henning faced, “The Whale”‘s five opponents weren’t that much more of challenge than this fat slob devouring a Costco-sized pack of Double Chocolate Oreo cookies.
First, The “40+-Year-Old Virgin” annihilated cupcake Jim Brandstatter. Then he proceeded to eat up Helene “Scarf” St. Jamesbefore chomping on Dan Leach. His real competition didn’t even begin until he digested Kurt Mensching and then scarfed down Ryan Ermanni.
I’d say that Anderson is well-rested for the battle of his life, but then I remembered he gets winded wiping his ass.
So there you have it. The battle of lowest common denominator sports talk radio versus the apparent senility of the News‘ senior baseball writer.
Henning remains a prohibitive favorite heading into this battle, but as we have learned during this tournament run, anything can happen.
Get ready for Monday’s vote. Let the biggest imbecile win!!