By Justin Spiro
spirojus@GMail.com
February 11, 2015
When I previewed the DSR’s Worst Media Personality tournament last week, I told you that Scott Anderson, Drew Lane, Lynn Henning, and Drew Sharp were on their way to Lafayette Coney Island for the Fucked-Up Four.
I was one shocking upset away from nailing it. Ryan Ermanni is on a breathtaking run, destroying his fellow 105.1er Lane for the final spot. Now that the final field is set, it’s time for final thoughts and predictions.
The Favorite… Still
Not much has changed here. Henning remains a heavy favorite to take home the hardware. He destroyed last year’s champion (Terry Foster) AND last year’s first runner-up (Vincent Goodwill, Jr.) in successive matchups en route to a Fucked-Up Four bid.
Although Henning’s statistical dominance does not match Foster’s from the previous season, he still has yet to receive even a brief scare in any of his matches.
Henning had an impressive season by any standard. He remains the rightful favorite.
The Cinderella
Ermanni outlasted Kurt Mensching’s similarly impressive run in the race to be this year’s Cinderella story. The two 5-seeds looked tremendous in advancing to the Excrement Eight, but while Anderson overwhelmed Mensching, Ermanni abused Drew Lane.
Poor Lane. He was already the biggest disappointment in this market. When we look back on this year’s tourney in future years, I believe Lane’s failure to reach the Fucked-Up Four will be our biggest collective disappointment. He really needed to be there.
With that said, Ermanni is no slouch. The public vitriol has been palpable thus far for Detroit’s Eddie Mush. People absolutely detest this guy. And how could you not? He believes there is “no benefit” to reporting on alleged rapists; defends his hateful, racist friends on social media; and allegedly hurls “faggot” blasts to critics while at Joe Louis Arena.
I remember encountering Ermanni outside of Comerica Park after a Tigers game and politely sharing with him my opinion that he stinks. The sweaty, toothed mad man ™ (Ethan Hawke) launched into a loud verbal tirade with more f-bombs than the director’s cut of Casino. When I pointed out that there were young kids all around us, Ermanni said, “I don’t give a fuck”.
Did I mention the guy was wearing a Fox-2 pullover and was leaning against a Fox-2 news truck? This guy…
I have never met a person who is genuinely disliked by everyone. But you simply can’t find someone in this guy’s social circle who likes him. One of his co-workers described him as “Necessary evil, take out the ‘necessary’.”
Ouch.
I don’t think Ermanni will win, but the DSR Sportsbook has him at 30-1 odds. That isn’t worth risking a few dollars?
As bad as Ermanni is, he does not deserve to beat Scott Anderson in the semifinals. Anderson is a worse member of the media, and had a more consistently awful season on a grander stage. But I am tired of betting against the public’s contempt for this guy.
If Ermanni does shock the world and win the whole thing, we can probably bank on a hilarious reaction. He spent time on his show this morning complaining about an unnamed bully who was being mean to him on the Internet. Considering we have the entire “flame the Detroit media” niche cornered, I am pretty sure he meant Jeff Moss.
Let’s not forget that this year’s Fucked Up Four is being hosted at Lafayette Coney Island, which is somewhat of a home field advantage for Ermanni since he signed a picture of himself and hung it on their wall.
How far can people’s hate for Ermanni carry him? Nothing would shock me anymore.
The Loser Who Should Win
Scott “The Whale” Anderson deserves to be this year’s champion. I don’t care what anyone says. Anyone who disagrees with me on this is wrong.
Anderson checks every box. He is stupid, arrogant, condescending, and inexplicably popular. As bad as Ermanni is, his audience is about 10% of Anderson’s. The Whale simply does more damage day in and day out. Ermanni is a pipe bomb. Anderson is an atomic bomb.
Hell, Ryan isn’t even the worst Ermanni among his SIBLINGS!!
The Whale spent most of the year hanging up on critics of Tigers manager Brad Ausmus, often mocking fans for “thinking they know the game better than a 15-year major league catcher”. That was during breaks from mocking cybermatrix ™ (Terry Foster) and being bewildered over the method of calculating the highly complex WHIP stat. You know, the statistic that describes the formula (Walks and Hits per Innings Pitched) IN THE TITLE!!!
One of the DSR’s biggest complaints about the local radio programming is their constant infatuation with awful non-sports related topics. Well, NO ONE is more responsible than Anderson for this. Whereas Mike Valenti begrudgingly does it for ratings, and Mike Stone is a defeated corpse, Anderson actually REVELS in the lowest common denominator radio topics.
You might recognize Anderson from such sports radio topics as “Are there really more women at the gym than men?”, “You can only have three things on your burger, including condiments. What are they?”, and “Have you ever butt-dialed 911?”.
If Anderson ever sits on a phone, that thing isn’t dialing anyone ever again.
As if trying to pad his tournament resume, he spent part of today’s show giving out Valentine’s Day advice. Ummm, what? Has this guy ever even been on a date?
I didn’t know Anderson’s blow-up doll expected a box of Sanders chocolate and a nice dinner at Joe Muer’s.
Finally, whenever 97.1 does a live remote of the Benedict & The Whale Show, Anderson encourages listeners to, “stop by, meet us, get an autograph or take pictures… whatever!”.
Get an autograph?
Take pictures?
Please do the right thing and vote for this loser. He has earned it.
And finally…
Sharp deserves to be here. He really does. We all know he stinks. Nobody at the DSR wants to go THREE YEARS without ONE Fucked-Up Four appearance by this dolt.
But if you vote for Drew Sharp, I will fight you.
Drew Sharp is a deliberate troll. He concocts outlandish sports takes (i.e., cancel March Madness, Michigan State’s football team shouldn’t be ranked) for the SOLE purpose of eliciting a negative response from emotional sports fans.
Is that behavior awful? Yup. But it’s not as awful as someone who actually believes the nonsense they spew out to the masses.
Sharp is the only participant who would have a display case built for the M.L. Curly Cup. He would revel in the triumph.
Don’t be a sucker. The other three are far worse. A vote for Sharp means you were outsmarted by him. Just don’t do it. Intelligent people will think less of you.
The Predictions
Anderson over Ermanni.
Henning over Sharp.
And in the final ……
Mr. Imperfect over The Virgin Whale.
Vote Now
Yes, the public will crown Henning. Anderson is worse, so technically the public will have gotten it “wrong”. But these two gentlemen were the worst Detroit had to offer in 2014, and the fact the voters placed the two worst in the championship game is encouraging proof that DSR readers are smarter than your average bear.
See you at Lafayette!
