By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
December 11, 2014
Tigers General Manager Dave Dombrowski has always had a bit of Harvey Dent in him, but I am not sure that dichotomy has ever been on full display in such a short period of time as it was Thursday morning.
There is a long history of Dombrowski doing his best Aaron Eckhart impersonation. Just last offseason, the man dealt Prince Fielder for Ian Kinsler yet also acquired three pieces of poop for Doug Fister.
On the one hand, there is the “Good GM” who acquired Fister in the first place from the Seattle Mariners in exchange for the cow in “Jack and the Beanstalk.” On the other hand, you have the “Bad GM” who really has yet to develop anyone of consequence from the farm system in his 14 years in charge of this franchise.
For you older readers of the site, this exec has focused on perfecting a Tommy Lee Jones imitation by acquiring Miguel Cabrera for 5 cents on the dollar, only to provide a massive amount of cash to Dontrelle Willis before that wildcard ever threw a pitch in Detroit.
No doubt that “Divot-Chinned Dave” has kept the organization relevant year-after-year, but he hasn’t accomplished the fairly easy task of assembling a competent bullpen which seems to be the team’s version of the thermal exhaust port every season.
Which brings us to the events that occurred earlier today — the closing day of the baseball Winter Meetings. Within one hour, Dombrowski made the no-brainer trade of Rick Porcello for Yoenis Cespedes and a couple of other minor pieces — which got Tigers fans excited that this meant that Max Scherzer’s return was imminent.
But before we could envision Cespedes banging out 500-foot homers and using his Dave Parker-esque cannon of an arm to throw out runners at home plate, Dombrowski doused the celebration with the Alfredo Simon for Eugenio Suarez and Jonathon Crawford trade.
What the fuck is going on here? Why must we be tormented in this fashion? We couldn’t even fully appreciate the thought of the Tigers putting their best defensive team on the field since Lou and Alan retired before we were delivered the Alfredo Simon shit sandwich fewer than thirty minutes later.
The joy of picturing a middle of the order that included Miguel Cabrera, Victor Martinez, J.D. Martinez and Cespedes totally evaporated within minutes when Dombrowski announced to the world that the team’s 2015 rotation would pale in comparison to that of the previous season.
As I wrote on Twitter, Alfredo Simon seems to be some amalgamation of Alfredo Figaro and Randall Simon. A dude who isn’t a very good pitcher yet also has serious personality issues.
When you have to wonder if your newest acquisition murdered someone and/or raped a girl (two separate allegations, mind you), it’s probably not a GOOD THING.
And regardless of whether or not he killed a guy in the Dominican Republic during a celebration by firing off a gun or if he raped a girl in Baltimore, the fact remains that he’s not a very good pitcher.
And please spare me the “All Star,” “Wins” and “ERA” arguments. I am not a child or a 400-pound obese midday radio personality. Alfredo Simon is nothing more than a journeyman who probably should be pitching out of the bullpen.
His FIP in 2014 (a predictive stat) was 4.33. That ranked 37 out of 43 among National League starters who qualified. Sorry, between his awful second-half numbers in ’14 (4.52 ERA) and the switch to the American League, this has all the hallmarks of an impending disaster.
And I really don’t care that they traded Suarez and Crawford, but this is the best they could do? (And don’t forget that there is zero guarantee that Jose Iglesias is going to return to full speed — which made Suarez a nice insurance policy.)
The Reds traded away another starting pitcher on Thursday when they sent Mat Latos to the Marlins. And here is the thing: Latos is MUCH better than Simon AND Miami gave up less to get him!!!!!
If you don’t believe me, here is what ESPN baseball writer Keith Law said about the Simon acquisiton:
The Reds got a better return in their other trade of a starting pitcher, sending Alfredo Simon to Detroit for shortstop Eugenio Suarez and right-handed pitcher Jonathon Crawford. Suarez, made superfluous by the return of Jose Iglesias, is an above-average to plus defender at short with good instincts, and has a very good plan at the plate that I think will lead to higher walk rates and batting averages in time. He wasn’t ready for the majors last year, but the Tigers needed him and, to his credit, he was above replacement-level for a shortstop with the bat. He’s a better option at shortstop than Zack Cozart, an outstanding defensive shortstop who can’t hit at all and is about to get more expensive via arbitration.
Crawford was the Tigers’ first pick in the 2013 draft, the Friday night starter for the University of Florida that spring but a near-certain reliever in the majors. As a starter he’ll sit 92-95 with a plus slider, but his arm action is hard for him to repeat and he doesn’t throw enough strikes to profile as a starter yet, nor does he have a good enough changeup. I don’t know of any major league starter with his arm action, and I think his stuff will play up so much in relief that he’ll be more valuable there even if I didn’t have a concern that he’ll get hurt in the rotation. He might just be Aroldis Chapman‘s long-term replacement in the Reds’ bullpen.
Simon rode a fluky first-half performance (.232 BABIP) to an All-Star berth in 2014, but turned back into his old self after that with a 4.52 ERA. He’s primarily a two-seamer/splitter guy who does generate enough ground balls to be more than just a replacement-level guy, but there’s nothing plus here and he’s probably 2-3 wins worse than Rick Porcello even if we assume Simon, who qualified for the ERA title for the first time in 2014, will make 30-plus starts this year. If either of his breaking pitches improved, that would change his outlook, although at age 33 that seems rather unlikely.
Well, how does that evaluation make you feel? Ready to puke in your mouth like I did earlier today?
Here are some of my other quick thoughts on the current Tigers situation after these two deals have been finalized:
- The idea that Ian Kinsler (.307 OBP in ’14) and Cespedes (.301 OBP in ’14) will set the table for Miggy and V-Mart in the batting order is preposterous but it will probably occur thanks to our Mimbo manager. What Brad Ausmus SHOULD do is bat Miggy second, V-Mart third, and JD-Mart at cleanup, followed by Cespedes and Nick Castellanos. The chances of this happening? The likelihood of Scott Boras allowing Scherzer to sign for less than Jon Lester.
- With all of the pitchers entering their walk year (including Fister), it is insane that the best Dombrowski could do is trade for Alfredo Simon; I keep thinking that there must be something else going on; I want to convince myself that we are still in the running for Max, but I just can’t.
- And even if we do get back in on Scherzer you’d have to think that would mean David Price would be dealt. What an entirely avoidable clusterfuck..
- The Fister trade has caused a cataclysmic domino effect. If you don’t trade Fister, you don’t have to acquire Price; if you don’t trade for Price, you still have Austin Jackson, Willy Adames and Drew Smyly as trade chips; if you still have those guys as trade chips, you don’t have to deal the prospects dealt for Simon (or deal for Simon, period). Which means you could still have Porcello and Fister and fix the bullpen and corner outfield positions with the the above-mentioned departed players plus Suarez and Crawford. FUCK, I HAVE A JOE MIGRAINE.
- It is December 11th and Dombrowski hasn’t really done much of anything to fix the bullpen, unless you think Alex Wilson is some sort of stud.
- Because Price seems to have very little inclination to stay in Detroit long-term, Dombrowski will probably have to consider bringing either Fister or Porcello back next season when the lefty walks away.
- The Tigers are in no better position to win that elusive World Series than they were two months ago. And the nightmare scenario of devolving into the current manifestation of the Philadelphia Phillies — without the money shot of winning a title — creeps closer to reality.
- This could all be be fixed by re-signing Scherzer; trading for one reliable bullpen arm; and moving Simon to the bullpen. That would truly be going all-in. I am not holding my breath.