By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
October 14, 2014
Well, I guess I should be flattered that in the course of one calendar year, I have single-handedly altered the security at press conferences for both the Detroit Lions and the Tigers.
You might remember that earlier this year, the Lions completely changed their credential-checking procedure for the Jim Caldwell introductory presser out of fear that the DSR might infiltrate Ford Field.
Well, as evidenced by today’s events, the Tigers have done the same exact thing. They obviously didn’t want a repeat of me sneaking into the Joe Nathan press conference and asking a totally legitimate question about the abortion known in Detroit as the “Doug Fister to D.C. Deal.”
Last year, I just showed up for the Nathan shindig, waltzed into Comerica Park and took a seat next to John Keating and waited for my turn to query “Divot Chin.” That wasn’t happening for today’s eulogy season-ending conversation with reporters about the 2014 season though.
And just like last fall, I wasn’t trying to sneak in to ask any embarrassing “Stuttering John”-like questions. I just wanted answers to the following ….
- Why do you still have a job while Ned Colletti just got replaced in Los Angeles by Andrew Friedman?
- Why didn’t James McCann play in September? Ya know, since you didn’t have a catcher on the roster who could hit either Andrew Miller or Zach Britton if his life depended on it?
- Why wasn’t Joakim Soria used properly from the minute he got to Detroit?
- Are you embarrassed that Brandon Finnegan (a 2014 draftee) is a valuable southpaw in the Royals pen during this postseason and ya got NOTHING from Rob Ray and Ian Krol?
So, I showed up at the Montcalm entrance of Comerica Park, set off the metal detector (it was my Macbook Pro; I am a liberal and don’t own a gun) and proceeded to the front desk to tell security I was there for Dombrowski’s spin session.
I was directed to the team’s director of media relations, Kate Ready, who was lying in wait for me. I mean, she was Kate READY for Poor Jiff Myst, I tell ya!!!!
I tried to get video of this interaction with Ms. Ready but I am much better at writing twisted articles about our professional sports teams than I am at videoing encounters so you are primarily getting the audio here (and an accidental closeup of Kate’s chest).
Stay tuned for special cameo appearances by Tony Paul of the Detroit News and Bernie Smilovitz from WDIV though ……
When it became clear that I wasn’t getting in, I decided to channel the spirit of the great Benjy Bronk and went into “Moss Coma” with the whole “You aren’t Letting Me In Because I am A Heeb” bit, but that jig was up when Smilovitz pranced right in.
Welp, that’s one fewer case for the Anti-Defamation League to investigate!!!!
I was pretty bummed by the whole experience and really pissed that I forgot to ask Kate if the Tigers would validate my parking. That’s three dollars I will never get back.
On my way out of the parking lot though, I spotted Drew Sharp walking into the wrong door for the presser. He was about five minutes late and I quickly pulled out my iPhone and recorded what can only be considered a highlight of my career …..
If you are wondering what I am talking about in regards to Sharp and Justin Verlander’s no-hitter in Toronto, you can click here and also here.
(Interestingly, that Sharp episode was cause for a “re-birth” of the DSR.)
It was a fun day at Comerica Park after all.
While writing this article, I asked my sister to show my eight-year-old nephew these videos; she refused on the grounds that I wasn’t a good role model.
When will I catch a break? Oh well, I’ll be back soon with some comments on both the Dombrowski press conference — which ended up being a total abomination — and the absolute idiocy of Tom Gage in today’s Detroit News.