By Jeff Moss
DetroitSportsRag@GMail.com
August 22, 2014
Unless you have been in a medically-induced coma for the past month, you’ve probably heard about the “Ice Bucket Challenge,” which has been raising record amounts of cash for curing the disease that killed Lou Gehrig.
This shit is totally out of control at this point. The other day, Zac Efron challenged Eric the Actor (and for the record, there is probably a 65% chance that pouring cold water on this poor little person who has a plethora of health issues would kill him).
Yesterday, 50 Cent upped the ante by offering to donate $750,000(!!!!!!) if Floyd Mayweather could read one page of “The Cat in the Hat” coherently.
Hell, even though I am completely annoyed by this gimmick, I challenged a certain celebrity …..
I just challenged the Wicked Witch of the West to the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. Your move, cunt.
— Jeff Moss (@JeffMossDSR) August 19, 2014
Anyway, the Curtis Jackson challenge of the best pound-for-pound woman abuser on the planet gave me an idea after I read the following Tweet from Terry Foster on Thursday:
Uh huh, Foster misspells words (gorilla warfare) and writes dopey articles because he has been instructed to do so since newspapers are read by barely literate adults.
Yep, on the first day of employment at the New York Times I hear they implore the new hires to write as if their target audience just left a Bat Mitzvah wearing glow sticks while doing the Macarena.
Can you imagine putting it out there on social media that you PURPOSELY write at an eighth-grade level while also calling your audience Dexter Manley-like imbeciles?!??!?! Hahahhahhhhaa.
This further proves my point that Terry Foster is a barely functional adult and brings me to the DSR’s ALS Challenge of “The Truth”:
This website will donate $1,000 in Terry Foster’s name if this goof agrees to partake in a DSR Podcast where he takes the Wonderlic Test live on-air.
Yep, 1 G to fight this debilitating disease. It’s not exactly 750 large, but I write articles about the Tigers or Red Wings and not “P.I.M.P” or “In Da Club.”
So, Terrance Reginald Foster, the ball is in your court now. Either accept the Wonderlic Test challenge or prove once and for all that you don’t care about Steve Gleason.
And as an added bonus, after you score somewhere in the Cam Newton range on the exam, I will even let you pour a bucket of ice over my head.
Well???????????